Sasuke and the Gatorade
by arual-chan
Summary: I once again reposted this mental fic about team seven trying gatorade and pretty much ruining their lives. If you enjoy senseless fics, read this.
1. Default Chapter

OOCness ensues, but it's (supposedly) funny as hell, so I don't really care.

Oh, FYI-I don't think Sasuke has hit puberty yet. How else could he ignore every single girl? Even revenge doesn't make a person blind. That's just my input, I mean, you can't help it if you fall in love, right? The only way he could ignore ALL girls is if he's gay. And I love my Sasuke-kun, so we aren't even gonna go there. growls-

OK...without further ado...let the fic begin!!!!

SASUKE AND THE GATORADE

**You can't help falling in love **

'What the hell?' Sasuke thought. 'Oh great. I'm hearing voices...again.' The young genin was currently standing in an aisle of the town's grocery store. As he began to look for (oh crap. what can he drink? not sake! uh...) his super-high-in-protein turnip shake, another label caught his eye.

GATORADE 

He glanced at if for a few more moments before scoffing and looking towards where _his_ drink was kept in stock.

But it wasn't.

Usually there was only one of the horribly nasty turnip shakes in the store-seeing as how Sasuke was the only one to buy the beverage. But apparently, some unfortunate tourist would be sick at home tonite.

The bright labeling of the gatorade again caught his eye. He peered at the gap where his drink should have been, then back at the gatorade.

After 5 more minutes of this scrutinizing to and fro, he sighed resignedly and grabbed a gatorade and went to check out...(I just got an idea to make this fic even MORE twisted. hehehe)

There Sasuke was, back home after making his purchases and waiting to cook dinner. But for some reason, he couldn't stop staring at the (to him) ominous green label of the...drink.

He heard a sudden sound outside his window and getting up, he wondered whether it was a fangirl or a silly challenge from Naruto (his only visitors). Sasuke stared down from his upper-story window but didn't see anything. But he heard the sound again. A tree was scratching the side of his house. The culprit : the wind.

Feeling stupid, he went back to the drink but then realized-if anyone saw his internal struggle he would be laughed at for years.

So quick as can be, the gatorade was ingested. 'Hmph. That wasn't so hard.' he thought, still as cool in his mind as his rabid fangirls thought he was.

He had totally forgotten about dinner.

He needed to train, a little voice in his head kept saying. Or...maybe it was his alarm clock. Sasuke opened his eyes to find the bright light of the sun shining thru his window.

'Yep. Definitely the alarm clock.' he thought, stepping into the shower. 'I should just be late. Kakashi won't even be there for another couple of hours.' he inwardly smirked.

Sasuke went back to the grocery store and much to his dismay, the uuber-nasty drink of his still wasn't there. So, once again, thought without hesitation, he got another gatorade, failing to notice the depleting source. (FYI-there's no particular flavor here, but if you want, feel free to make up your own.) 'Maybe I should stop buying stuff here.' he thought, referring to their lack of stock. 'Or complain to the manager.' He smirked again at the idea.

The gatorade was finished on the way to training. But this time, Sasuke felt kinda...funny after drinking it. He simply cast off the emotion and continued on his way.

As he neared the training grounds, Sakura and Naruto's voices reached him. "Yeah, did you see that new stuff...gatorade it's called. Imported from America." "I saw it, Sakura-chan! And I bought one too!" he held the product up for her, as far as Sasuke could see. "So did I." he heard her say. "I wonder if Sasuke-kun..." and then he stopped listening.

He arrived moments later, and to his consternation, the strange feeling came back. Except now, it was stronger.

"Hello." he said to them, trying to rid himself of the unsettling in his stomach once again. His two teammates stared at him like he had grown an extra head. Since when does he acknowledge them? Naruto and Sakura were wary of his behavior. "Uh...hi Sasuke." Sakura voiced, cautiously pulling out a kunai. But Sasuke failed to notice her as he sat figetingly on a rock. The other two exchanged glances.

In the meantime, as the hot sun beat down on Sakura and Naruto, they decided it was time to test their own gatorades. Pretty soon, they too were feeling...different.

Sasuke was about to rupture something. He HAD to do something! NOW!!!! But just then, Kakashi appeared, doing the little "poof" thing. Still, Sasuke had snapped. "AHHAHAHA!!!" he yelled and ran out of the forest, back to town. "Should we follow him?" Sakura seemingly carelessly asked Naruto. He sighed. "I suppose. He could get hurt or endanger the lives of others. I concur! Let us follow him." and off they went, Sakura running like a bat out of hell(because of her excess energy, not because they were chasing Sasuke), and Naruto, just walking. For you see, the gatorade was indeed, the spawn of the devil and all who drank it acted abnormally absurd. Thank heavens the stores were running out fast! But anyway...

Sasuke had paused for a break and Sakura had run into him. Hard. Her momentum was a little...off shall we say. They ended up in a heap on the ground, Sakura on top of Sasuke. Each was gasping heavily for air from the exercise they had done and if one walked into the forest, where the two still were, at that exact moment, one might call it a VERY compromising situation. But anywho...

"Sa...Sakura." Sasuke panted. "Y-yes?" she asked, still trying to regain her breath. "I think I l-like you." he told her, sitting up suddenly. She gaped at him, surprised, for a minute before replying, "Well, it's about damn time!" but after a second of contemplation to his reaction and to her own, she had another newfound confession to make. "I think I...don't like you Sasuke. Yes, I'm almost certain I don't."

"Wh...what?" he asked, sure he had heard incorrectly. "I don't like you." she clarified, getting up and extending a hand to help him. "Anyway...I'll see you later. Bye Sasuke!" she left him there to wallow in a stunned silence.

Naruto had managed to find Shikamaru who had not had any of the gatorade(only Team 7 and random unmentionable people did) and they were engaged in a thrillingly dull game of GO. Naruto actually had the upper-hand. "Ah, good move Shikamaru, but not good enough." and with that, the game was over, Naruto the victor. Shikamaru, though astounded just mumbled a "good game." and went off to eat at Ichiraku.

Ino and Chouji, who were also there(at Ino's mum's flower shop FYI), were about to follow him, but stopped when Sakura showed up. "Hey Ino." Sakura greeted in a completely friendly voice. "Big-forehead? That you?" Ino inquired suspiciously at the girl's nice tone.

"Did you find Sasuke?" Naruto questioned. "Yeah." "Off stealing my man again?" Ino asked, smirking. "Nope. Told him I don't like him. He's all yours now. So...wanna be friends again?" Sakura finished. After more shocked silence, Sakura decided to just walk away. She needed to visit the Hyuugas. Oh, she took Naruto with her.

When they reached the mansion, Hinata opened the door and immediately blushed upon seeing Naruto. Sakura then spoke up. "Hi. Naruto, Hinata likes you. Have a good time!" and she walked past the scarlet faced girl into the mansion. Apparently, training was cancelled today, so she figured Neji would be in his room, training. She found a maid and asked her where his room was, but after entering, she saw that the place was empty. So...she waited.

Neji was, in fact, in the forest training when he stumbled upon a broken down and sobbing Uchiha. "She...doesn't like me." he was chanting over and over as he rocked back and forth. Neji decided to go train at home.

When Neji got there, he sensed two unfamiliar chakras. One directly eminating from _his_ room. The other one happened to be Naruto who was...making out with his cousin?! Neji tried to shake away his rapidly growing headache as he continued in the direction of his room.

He found Haruno Sakura peacefully sleeping on his bed. As he approached the bedside, her eyes snapped open and she stated, "Hello Neji."

All the while, Kakashi was still in the forest, reading his book that he had pulled out when Sasuke went insane. 'Imagine that! I didn't even have to tell my students training was cancelled. Such bright children...'

And as we leave off...Naruto is still making out with Hinata, Sakura is in Neji's room. about to...well, we don't know, Sasuke is in the forest having mental breakdown, and Kakashi is reading his favorite book-Why Is My Life So Messed Up? (with a Icha Icha Paradise cover on it). Oh, and the whole village is in chaos and has now officially banned gatorade.

**THE END!!!**

Expect a more serious sequel. No...don't.

Wow, that was waaaaaaaay different that if was supposed to be. Oh well. Toodles!!!!

Confusing stuff: The reason the gatorade didn't work the 1st time Sasuke was because he went to sleep.

A little preview of the next one, well, more of a summary. Everyone goes back to normal, except a few small things -Sakura still chases Sasuke, he still doesn't show that he likes her, Naruto is clueless again and basically, it's all the same. BUT...Sakura still asks a favor of Neji. But they all pretend like it didn't happen, or it was a nightmare. Still, Sakura is not avidly attracted to Sasuke anymore and DOES want to be Ino's friend. And Hinata and Naruto are dating. More pairings (at least one) in sequel. So...toodles!!!


	2. responses

umino ayame: thanks for finding my fic funny. I usually write romance fics, but I love making them insanely outrageous. yeah, sugar and sasuke rings a bell…something about kidnapping sakura and trying to make her the squirrel queen and sasuke thinking neji is a chipmunk, right?  yeah, damn it probably isn't still up. I got on the web the other day and I couldn't find several fics that I KNOW I've read on before. grr…but yeah, pointless fics are great. cheesy grin stuff like that gives us a break from all the angst out there-not that it's bad, but copious amounts of angst make me cry. sniff sniff just kidding…sorta. anywho-thank you deeply for your striking review! cool smiley.

kitsune: ahh, short, sweet, and straight to the point, ne? thanks oodles, I'm glad people can still enjoy senseless bull crap like this fic, it makes the world go round, doesn't it? anywho…merci beaucoup pour le review! sublime smileys!


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